The Garbage You Can't See

Garbage on the streets of San Francisco
Random garbage on a San Francisco street

Today, on Earth Day, I find myself thinking about garbage. About how much garbage I create, how long it lasts, and what my garbage says about me.

I didn't think about garbage until my family moved into the farmhouse.  Prior to the move, we lived in the suburbs, where garbage trucks drove by one day a week and picked up the trash. It was so simple; you put your garbage in a can and wheeled the can to the curb, and it magically disappeared.

When we moved to the farm, there was no more can. No more truck. No more magic.

Instead, we had The Pit.

Before we bought the farmhouse, we rented it. The people we rented it from had dug a deep hole in the ground a few yards from our house; a couple of times a week, they drove over with their garbage sacks and threw everything inside. The Pit horrified my parents. My father, the scientist, knew that things didn’t stay inside of a hole forever; they leached out into the soil and contaminated the ground.

We children were fascinated and repelled by The Pit; we would walk within a few feet of it and try to catch a glimpse of the rat family who lived on the brim. It had a sweet-sour stench on hot days. When people came to visit us, we went to tremendous lengths to keep them away from that side of the house. It was a source of silent shame.

As a result, we became rather obsessive about our garbage. We used multiple bins to sort it out: glass, paper, tin. Food scraps of every kind went to the animals; paper garbage was burned. Tin was flattened, and glass was reused. We tried very hard not to throw things away.

When we finally bought the farmhouse and covered over The Pit, we all breathed a sigh of relief, but we knew: it was still there. Moving, breathing, breaking down. It didn’t go away.

Now that I’m back in a place where the garbage truck comes to pick up the can once a week, I sometimes forget about The Garbage Problem. Then I read an article like the one in the January ’08 edition of National Geographic that shows a warehouse filled with discarded plastic computer monitors, and a photograph of a man in New Delhi pouring molten lead smelted from circuit boards from one pan into another. The caption reads: “His family uses the same pots for cooking.”

Talk about a buzz kill.

What was it I thought I had to have? A new cell phone? A faster laptop? It can wait.

Tea wrote a moving post on Tuesday about how she feels uncomfortable writing about food amid a worldwide food crisis; like the Food Issue, the garbage problem is deeply sobering. Just as my family knew that The Pit would affect our tiny little ecosystem, all of us instinctively understand that our garbage  doesn’t magically disappear.

I know this. You know this. But writing about it and talking about it is a bummer; we'd all rather think about something else, like ice cream. Or chocolate.

But somehow, acknowledging the garbage - talking about it, smelling it, watching the rats scurry over it - is strangely liberating.

I'd rather live in a world where the nasty, smelly stuff is talked about. Hidden, it is toxic. Hidden, it seeps into waterways + dinner plates + arteries and rots us from the inside out.

Exposed, we can figure out a way to clean it up.

Happy Earth Day, everyone.

Links:

The National Geographic Photo Essay on High-Tech Trash

The Recycling Question: does it make sense to recycle?

Greenwashing the Planet

Dating Advice for Girls with Pets: a Public Service Announcement

Petra the greyhound wearing a party hat

A friend of mine called yesterday to chat about his adventures in online dating.

"I know you're not ready to get back out there," he said, "but when you are, here's a tip: don't post pictures of your dog online if you want to get a date."

He went on to tell me about a perplexing trend he had noticed on a certain matchmaking site he belonged to (eSanctimonious, perhaps? I can't remember) in which women posted photo after photo of themselves with their pets. "It's the opposite of hot," he sighed. "They're all reading 'Eat, Pray, Love,' and they're all holding a cat or a miniature dog. Bleh."

One woman sent him an e-card emblazoned with a photo of her cat Fluffy wearing a pair of bunny ears, inscribed: "Fluffy wishes you a Happy Easter!"

"What was she thinking?!" he groaned. "I hadn't even met her in person yet, and her CAT wishes me a Happy Easter? Dumb, dumb, dumb. I deleted her immediately."

I know that Internet dating sites have helped countless singletons find their happy ever after, but I'm 110% sure they're not for me, so after I finished wiping away the tears of laughter over my friend's story, I said: SO THAT MEANS I CAN POST PICTURES OF MY DOG ALL DAY LONG!

"You go, girl," he replied.

"Because the only other thing I can think of that would be as much fun as dating - online or off - would be handing my heart to a butcher and asking him to run it through a meat grinder a few times."

"Yeah, posting pictures of Petra might be a good idea," my friend replied.

"And then asking the butcher, if he wouldn't mind, to hold a blowtorch to it for a minute or two, to make the raw, pulpy bits nice and crispy."

"Start posting those pictures immediately," he said.

Not that I'm planning on turning my blog into Photo Shrine to Petra, but I could. Hypothetically.

But YOU! If you're Single in San Francisco, and you're thinking about sending out a flirtatious e-card signed "With Hugs &  Smooches From Fluffy and Me" - you might want to scrap those plans in a jiffy.

And swap out "Eat, Pray, Love" with "He's Just Not That Into You."

Couldn't hurt. Might help.

Weekend Report: Watching, Reading, Eating

WATCHING: La Vie En Rose.

When Marion Cotillard won Best Actress for her portrayal of Edith Piaf in La Vie En Rose, I felt slightly miffed on behalf of the American more experienced actresses who had been nominated: Laura Linney. Cate Blanchett.  Julie Christie!

Then, over the weekend, I saw the movie. It was gorgeous. Cotillard the movie star was virtually invisible; all I could see was Edith. Fragile, belligerent, talented, love-starved Edith.

From a scene on the beach in California in the '50's, where a reporter is interviewing Piaf:

What advice do you have for women?

Love.

What advice do you have for young ladies?

Love.

What advice do you have for girls?

Love.

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READING: What is the What, by Dave Eggers.

I've had this book on my must-read list for months. Now it is breaking my heart, one masterfully-written page at at time.

From page 199 (paperback edition):

Death took boys every day, and in a familiar way: quickly and decisively, without much warning or fanfare. These boys were faces to me, boys I had sat next to for a meal, or who I had seen fishing in a river. I began to wonder if they were all the same, if there was any reason one of them would be taken by death while another would not. I began to expect it at any moment. But there were things the dead boys might have done to aid their demise. Perhaps they had eaten the wrong leaves. Perhaps they were lazy. Perhaps they were not as strong as me, not as fast. It was possible that it was not random, that God was taking the weak from the group. Perhaps only the strongest were meant to make it to Ethiopia; there was only enough Ethiopia for the best of the boys.

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EATING: Kumquats. Whole: seeds + skin + all. I can't get enough of their bitter-sour-sweetness. I know I should slice them thinly and toss them in a salad; infuse them into something exotic; make them into a glaze and brush it over a hunk of meat. But they taste too good naked to fuss with them, so I don't.

And with sincere apologies to anyone who thinks that I am Very High Minded All of the Time, I can't help but wonder:

Don't kumquats sort of resemble... boobies?

Bw_kumquats

 

Random Photo Friday: Melancholy Girl with Guitar

She was sitting on the sidewalk, strumming her guitar.

It was about an hour to sunset. The golden twilight cast a shadow on her guitar, silhouetting it against the garage door behind her.

She looked up at me with sad brown eyes, hair curling around her forehead. She said it would be okay if I took her photo.

I asked if I could email her a copy.

"No," she said dreamily, and bowed her head again, strumming. Lost in her thoughts. Beautiful melancholy girl.

Melancholy Girl

A Break up Story

The_bad_things_i_think_about_myself

Time: A weekday afternoon. 3-ish.

Place: Ritual Coffee Roasters on Valencia Street in San Francisco.

Me: In a mid-afternoon slump, slightly blurry, jonesing for a caffeine boost.

At the counter:
A girl, 18-ish.

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Counter girl: What would you like?

Me: A cappuccino, please.

CG: For here or to go?

Me: To go.

(a pause)

Me: Oh, and can I ask a favor? Can the barista stir a tablespoon of raw sugar into the espresso before adding the foam? Because, you know, when you add the sugar afterwards, it gets caught in the foam, and… (stops, slowly, as a sour expression of distaste spreads over counter girl’s face)

CG: Umm, we don’t… do that.

Me: You don’t do what, exactly?

CG: We don’t add… anything… to our espresso. We don’t believe in ruining it. We believe that our coffee shouldn’t have… things…added to it. Philosophically, we just don’t believe in it. So, no.

Me: Oh. Okay.

Barista (overhears and leans over, frowning): Sugar makes the espresso bitter, and we’d really rather not ruin it. (shakes his head, clearly displeased) I mean, I’ll add it if you really want me to, but… (furrows brow, sighs)

Me: No, that's fine. Just make it the way you make it.

Barista: I mean, if you insist.

Me: No, really. Just make it the way you make it.

CG walks away and whispers to her associate at the other end of the counter. They giggle, glancing in my direction.

I turn away. I have never felt this ashamed in the act of ordering coffee in my life. Ever. I feel like a heel, a rube, a bumpkin.

And there, in the middle of the busy room, tears rush to my eyes. I am simultaneously furious at them and furious with myself for letting it affect me so much. My brain clamors with judgment as my ego rushes to its own defense: how dare this greasy-haired girl with ill-fitting pants treat me like a disease? Who are these people, anyway? I want to walk out, forget that I ever stepped through the red-flag-waving door.

But I stay, willing the tears to subside. (Why? I don’t know. It takes me far too long to walk away from bad situations.) The barista finally slides my drink across the counter with a final disappointed glance.

I pick up the cup and walk out.

In the relative safety of the sidewalk, I try to figure out what just happened. Was it me? Was it them? Did I really just about have a breakdown over... a cappuccino?

All I know for sure is this: I am never. Going back. To Ritual. Again.

Random Photo Friday: GROW Graffiti

With all due respect, empathy and consideration for the rights of property owners, I must confess to being fascinated with graffiti. I know it's not "okay" for people to deface property, but still: it appeals to my love of stark urban graphics that deliver a slap upside the eyeballs.

Here's a recent favorite:

Grow_graffiti

It only lasted a few days; the garage door is now back to a uniform shade of pea green.

But yesterday! As I was wandering down random streets with Petra tugging at her leash, I saw another one of the same, the letters G R O W glaring out against a brick facade. Alas, I didn't have my camera. I'm going to try to snap it today, if it is still there....

I only hope this doesn't mean something awful and make me regret posting it.

Happy Friday! Now get out there and kick this weekend into shape.

:: PS: FRIDAY AFTERNOON UPDATE ::

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The Italian Stallion is at Spork

If you happen to be anywhere near Valencia & 21st near the middle of the day, and you happen to notice that Spork is open for lunch, and your tummy happens to need filling, here's what you should do:

Step inside. Find a table at the window, if you can, because the Eclectic, Stylish, Artfully Pierced, Skinny-Pants-Wearing Mission People are sooo much fun to watch. When the menu comes, skip past the hamburgers. Ignore the salad. Don't choose the sausage.

Instead, take a chance and order the curiously-named Italian Stallion.

When the plate arrives at your table, don't be surprised if it looks like a dish that might have come out of a much fancier kitchen, like Delfina or Zuni. Slide the edge of your fork into that heap of fresh, silky, paper-thin pasta sheets layered with warm, rich bolognese sauce made from grass-fed beef and dusted with freshly grated Parmigiano. Bring a bite to your lips and send a silent message of gratitude to the kitchen. Finish the whole plate. Wonder why there isn't a line out the door, all for this one dish.

Save the victory lap until after you step outside.

Lunar Eclipse, San Francisco

Here in San Francisco, the moon is sliding out from beneath the inky shadow of Earth.

The sky was smudged with clouds tonight, making it hard to appreciate the full effect of this rare eclipse, and yet: just knowing that it was happening in the sky above me made my heart sing.

I grabbed my camera and ventured into the cold, trying to capture the gentle curve of the moon as she emerged, but alas; she darted out of my viewfinder, leaving me with only a streaky smear.  But I couldn't possibly be cross. I adore the moon in all of her phases: thin and curved, like a talisman worn to a smooth, shiny crescent by a worried thumb; or round and shining, an opalescent pool glinting in the far reaches of the sky.

Ancient cultures alternately feared and revered the lunar eclipse. The so-called "dark phase" of the moon  has been linked with many significant historical events, from the crucifixion of Christ to the fall of Constantinople to the death of Herod.

And here it is again ~ with you and with me, on this twenty-first day of February, in the year two-thousand and eight.

Wherever you are, I hope your heart is beating wildly beneath the hazy dome above you and that you're celebrating the swing of the planets across the dance floor of the sky.

Finding Christmas

Tilden_park

A friend of mine phoned me a few days ago:
"I'm coming to pick you up," she said. "We're going to find Christmas."

It was a weeknight, cold and dark. My head felt blurry from staring at words on a screen all day; I was wearing the same sweatshirt I had pulled on that morning. The idea of being whisked away was tempting, but finding Christmas? Whatev.

I've never enjoyed Christmas overly much. The holidays of my childhood were not particularly jolly, and they haven't been a source of excitement since. Frenzied bouts of shopping? Long waits in traffic? Candy canes and gingerbread? Eh. Give me a few good books and a pot of tea, and call me when it's over.

I attempted to rally over the last couple of years; after we moved to Marin, the Moroccan and I lavishly decorated a tree, and invited family to stay, and festooned the house with sparkling white lights. On Christmas Day, we had a gourmet feast to rival all feasts.

Can't I just skip it this year?

But my friend was insistent, so I relented. "Fine," I told her. "Call me when you're a few blocks away."

Moments later, we were driving through the hills of Berkeley, then bumping down an unlit road. What the...? Then we were pulling up in front of a sign that read "Tilden Park" and climbing out of the car, and walking towards a faux-North-Pole so over the top I couldn't help but smile. There were hundreds of thousands of lights, and inflatable presents, and trees festooned with every conceivable decoration, from teddy bears to fairies to plastic fruit. Campy. Kitschy.

Ho-ho-ho.

Spinning_carousel_sm_2

And in the middle of it all, a huge, shiny, glittering carousel. Who doesn't love a carousel? I may be a Scrooge, but when I see carved zebras and horses and camels whirling  beneath a gorgeous dome while mural-like paintings shimmer around the sides, I feel... well, happy.

Carousel_horse

The animals were so beautiful. There was even a chicken, but that photo came out all blurry.

Blurry_carousel_sm

We took a ride, but of course. It's fun to blur your eyes and let the lights and colors wash over you.

Gnome

Finally, a man in the green and red elf suit gave the last call for carousel rides, and we walked back into the cold, dark night towards the car.

My friend grinned. "Our next stop is like a Christmas Happy Pill," she said.

By then, I was ready for anything.

"Great," I said. "Take me there."

(...to be continued)

 

Your Forecast Calls for Cold

Christmas_lights

It’s cold outside, boys and girls.

C-c-c-old.

Just when I was getting used to the dismal business of sleeping alone –  liking it even, for brief moments – lying in the middle of my bed and spreading my arms and legs out wide, reveling in the fact that the vast expanse of mattress is mine, all mine!

Then the temperature dipped into the 40’s.

I abruptly stopped making snow angels in the sheets.

Huddled beneath the duvet cover, teeth chattering so hard I feared my jaw would crack, my mind flashed to a children’s book illustration of Old Man Winter – eyes glittering, cheeks bulging, thick lips blowing streams of arctic air.

C-c-c-old.

Last Sunday, after waking up yet again with blue-tipped fingers and icicle toes, I gave myself a talking-to: you’re a smart girl, I said to me, sternly. You should know that electric blankets were invented decades ago, which means there’s no good reason for you to subject your extremities to frostbite.

Which is how I found myself in Bed, Bath and Beyond, clutching one of their ubiquitous blue sale coupons, weaving through the aisles beneath the glare of lights best suited to an operating table. It took a while, but I finally found what I was looking for.

The electric blanket: ninth wonder of the world! I’d rather not need it, but since I do, it’s my new favorite thing.

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