Technically, this should be a follow-up post to my last one, in which I left my readers dangling - hearts pounding, minds racing - as they wondered what destination followed my trip to Tilden Park.
But that was days ago, and here I am on Christmas morning, with the sun pouring through the windows and Petra snoozing beside me, and it seems obvious that that post is never going to get written. Plus, the title is making me giggle. "Finding Christmas" is so Hallmark, the title of a made-for-tv movie full of snowflakes and warm epiphanies. I keep imagining a kindly, grandpa-like voice saying: "And so, in the end, Jennifer discovered that it wasn't so much about finding Christmas as it was about letting Christmas find her." Cue the credits.
One year ago, I was having an entirely different kind of Christmas. I couldn't have anticipated all of the events that have made 2007 so painful and strange. And yet: I feel completely at peace today. If there is one resolution that I'm making as this year draws to a close, it is simply this: to want to be wherever I am. Not in the imagined shiny-happy future, and not in the painful memories of the past.
Simply to be present, right here, right now.
Wherever you are on this day, I hope you're where you want to be, and I hope your heart is happy.
Cue the credits.