The Feminist in My Kitchen (Part 2)

When I first began to wonder whether the slow-organic-local food movement is sustainable for and friendly to the larger community of women, I started to notice everything about it that wasn’t.

I started thinking about how we as women feel such tremendous pressure to stay svelte, balance our budgets, keep a journal, send birthday cards, raise brilliant children, work on our relationships and keep our pedicures fresh, and now we must also research, procure, and prepare food that is sustainably produced, locally grown, and in season.

It didn’t seem fair. It made me feel cranky.

Then I asked myself: why do I feel this way, and what is causing it? Over the course of a couple of weeks, this is what I came up with:

The System is Broken. It’s not the fault of the farmer’s market that I feel overstressed. Rather, the game itself is rigged. The workforce rewards people who are willing to put in ridiculous hours and disregard personal health and long-term wellbeing. It does not reward self-nourishment or play or rest. Even more insidious is the fact that our buy-more culture has lured us into a devil's bargain with debt. Even if we’re working at a job we love, it requires an insane juggling act to live a balanced life. That there aren’t enough hours to nourish ourselves properly, or that we have to make a choice between eating well and building our careers is just… craziness.

Convenience Has a Dark Side. Convenience has been our friend, but not a trustworthy one. We can put dinner on the table in 30 minutes or less, but those cans and jars are slipping us toxic additives and chemicals on the sly. Like the friend who keeps borrowing money but never pays it back, Convenience has become a liability. The fault lies with us: we haven’t set proper boundaries. We need to speak out, vote with our dollars, and support products that are healthy and safe.

The Bar is Being Raised. The slow-organic-local movement is putting pressure on the mega-grocers and Big Ag in ways that will confer advantages to all women. I happen to think that WalMart’s foray into organic products and Safeway’s new “O” line are moves in the right direction; the more options, the better. The goal is for more people have access to better food. Hopefully, the bar will continue to rise, and “organic” will just be the starting point.

It’s Not a Competition. Sometimes I read a blog post describing an elaborate home-cooked meal, and I immediately feel stressed. That's a clue that I'm letting my insecurities get the best of me. The fact is that everyone is in a different place, with different time constraints, and different complexities to negotiate. When I remember that it’s not a competition, then I can enjoy reading about what other people are doing, and even be inspired by it, without feeling like I have to jump higher.

It Isn’t All or Nothing. One home cooked meal a week is better than none. One trip to the farmer’s market in a month will introduce locally grown vegetables and fruits into your diet and help support the local economy. Some weeks I’m going to have the time and inspiration to roast my own beets and make my own marinara sauce; other weeks, it’s not going to happen. And that’s okay.

Critical Thought: Good. Judgment: Not so much. Critical analysis is informative and constructive. It makes us think. It teaches us things. Judgment or “snark” is a subtle power play. It might be disguised as humor, but it isn’t helpful in the least. It says: I’m too sophisticated/educated/dedicated to watch Rachael Ray, or buy Safeway’s “O” products, and I want to make sure you know it.

A woman in her 20’s who is working hard to build her career is going to make different choices than a woman in her 50’s whose kids are grown. There are hundreds of thousands of unique situations, and we can’t fairly judge them from the outside.

I met a single mom recently who told me that her kids love to watch Rachael Ray. “People make fun of Rachael,” she said, “but my kids and I can watch her show together, and I don’t have to worry that they’re going to see something inappropriate if I leave the room for a minute. Also, she makes me feel like not giving up. Like I can get dinner on the table when I’m so tired that I’d rather go through the drive-in.” Well, shut my mouth!

The Slow-Organic-Local Movement is a Boon for Female Entrepreneurs. Here in the Bay Area, a new crop of small women-owned businesses has sprung up around the growing demand for quality food products. I don’t have the time or desire to make my own preserves, but June Taylor does, using the best fruit ever. Alison McQuade makes amazing chutneys (Glasgow Spiced Apple + double cream Brie = bliss). Donna Eichhorn and Shirley Virgil make incredible handmade tamales and corn tortillas. No matter where you live, I guarantee that you can find women who are taking advantage of this growing opportunity.

If not for the surge of interest in small, local producers, these women might not be in business. They are, and we all win.

Lastly, I’ve framed this discussion in a feminist context, but of course this is a universal concern. While I still believe that this issue is of particular importance to women, since women have historically been the “nurturers” and therefore the convenience and ready availability of food has been a key factor in the changing landscape of women’s rights, I’m really a “people-ist” more than anything – someone who desires the equality of all people, everywhere. I’m thrilled that the quality of our choices is growing, and that so many people are talking about the myriad ways in which food affects our lives.

I’m still not sure if I’ve answered all of my own questions, the ones I raised in the previous post, but it’s a start. I think this is an issue that I’ll be contemplating for a long while.

Comments

[Catherine]

Great post. Very thought provoking.

[cookiecrumb]

Aw, I'm sorry you've been struggling. You're totally on the right track, in my opinion.
Baby steps.

[Julia]

Interesting topic, something I've thought about quite a lot. My personal situation: I've been working for years in a demanding job in a major US city, ordering take-out for our family dinner or going out much more often than cooking.
Now I'm in a completely different situation.
We've moved to London due to my husband's job, and I work part-time in a job that does not leave me stressed, but does not pay much. I have time to stop at the best market in London during lunch or after work, and I've started cooking as I've never had before.
I'm happy, my family is happy, however I can honestly say that there is absolutely no way I would have been able to do this in the States, and I would not feel the slightest guilt about ordering take-out at least 3 times a week.

[Kal Barteski]

Have you read In Praise of Slow (you probably have)? I like your point about the workforce rewarding the people that put in ridiculous hours and let the rest of their lives slip. I'm on a mission to get the people that LIVE BEST recognized, too. Well, it's gonna be a tough mission... but, I'm up for it.

[Garrett]

"Some weeks I’m going to have the time and inspiration to roast my own beets and make my own marinara sauce; other weeks, it’s not going to happen. And that’s okay."

I love that part.

[The Purloined Letter]

What a terrific idea for a post. I play through all these issues so often--but have never been able to see them as a whole and really address them adequately. Thanks very much for helping to get me there.

And your thoughts about the contest issue? You are absolutely right--but at the same time, I love the "challenges" and the like that fly around the web. I wonder why?

[barbara]

Goodness Jen, Does Cookiecrumb know about you and cranky?

[Charlie]

You said-
"Sometimes I read a blog post describing an elaborate home-cooked meal, and I immediately feel stressed. That's a clue that I'm letting my insecurities get the best of me. The fact is that everyone is in a different place, with different time constraints, and different complexities to negotiate. When I remember that it’s not a competition, then I can enjoy reading about what other people are doing, and even be inspired by it, without feeling like I have to jump higher."

This is so true of most everything in the sustainability movement - from people's stories about where they get their food, to what kind of fuel they use, to where their energy comes from, to what their job is. It is very easy to feel like you aren't doing enough, or aren't as "good" as someone else. I have often stressed myself out over what type of car I drive, but then I stop, breathe, and remember that even though I can't be perfect yet, there are still many amazing things I work on that deserve my own merit, and that thinking in the right direction is often as meaningful as doing the right thing. It's not a competition, but just as easily as some people can feel disillusioned or downtrodden by their own inability to achieve levels of perfection in their ethical quests, it seems easy for others to fall in the trap of seeming self-righteous or overtly proud of their own amazing feats of environmental stewardship or socially responsible thinking. Proud attitudes such as these deserve a check, since alienating individuals who mean well but genuinely can't make full transitions ultimately creates divisions and competing sentiments that ultimately miss the point. "The point" being that if you genuinely want changes in our world that will create a more just and fair system, be it a food system or a system of rights or equality, then whatever role makes sense for you in that cause is the best role you can play, and it doesn't matter if someone else is making thousands of jars of sauce from veggies they grew themselves, because each of us has a different role to play in these movements.

It might sound touchy-feely, but I think there are some really over-the-top people out there who don't get touched enough and have lost touch with their feelings, if you will pardon the puns. They may be working really hard on their own sustainable lifestyles, but they aren't thinking very much on how to reach out to others.

[Jennifer Jeffrey]

Catherine + Cookie - thanks.

Julia - you make the brave point that being less stressed frees you up to spend more time creating meals - and that when you did have the stress, you simply ordered out. Bravo. I think you're setting a great example for your kids. A happy mom is a good mom. Have fun in London... what a fabulous adventure you must be having there!

Kal - no, I haven't read that book! I'll order it this week. I'm a big fan of YOURS and your fun, positive energy.

Garrett - *hugs*

Purloined - challenges are great. I think it's all about how we see them, whether we perceive them as healthy and fun, or stressful and competitive.

Barbara - HA! Me and Cranky. We go waaay back.

Charlie - You said it beautifully. Lovely thoughts, and I thank you for sharing. Perfection isn't possible, but peace of mind is, and by doing what we can and not comparing ourselves obsessively with others, we're most of the way there.

[shuna fish lydon]

This is really intriguing. I've been thinking about these ideas for a while too. Lately I've been trying to remind myself that because making food is my profession, I probably won't be making elaborate meals at home. But I know very well the pressure of which you speak.

I try to be so happy for the people who can do that sort of thing in their home kitchens.

And then hope that one day they'll invite me over for dinner.

[miche]

Wow - thank you SO much for this post. As a 32 yr old Mom with an average paying job and two small children ... I felt like you were talking to me AND about me! I do what I feel is my 'best' at this point in my day-to-day life as far as eating is concerned. I have made some changes in the past year (composting, CSA subscription) - but it's just the tip of the iceberg. It is so easy to feel overwhelmed and, unfortunately, competitive. Like you say, 'It isn't all or nothing'. That's how I've been living, and I will continue to do so and make small improvements as I'm able to. It's not easy being a woman these days, but I wouldn't rather be living at any other time.

[michael]

Wonderful pair of posts on some really important issues regarding food. Forget organic and local: try just making dinner with regular supermarket vegetables if you're, say, a floor nurse working 12 hour shifts that might START at 6 p.m.

My wife and I have no kids, regular office jobs with short commutes, and spend a ridiculous amount of time just trying to eat ethically (we share cooking and shopping responsibilities) already, in an area where there are lots of CSAs and farmers markets. The struggle is only going to get tougher. Multiply this by a thousand for a single working mother. It would be completely impossible in many areas of the U.S.

The local food movement needs to be sensitive to the reality that eating whole foods that require a good deal of kitchen labor to prepare, and buying local, are difficult for a great many people.

However, I think (hope?) there is a happy medium between being Donna Reed, or more accurately, a farm wife 150 years ago, and complete reliance on industrially-produced food.

I try and fail at this all the time, but my wife reminds me: look at every home-cooked meal, the more locally-sourced the better, as a victory, rather than seeing each non-local ingredient or quick meal out as a defeat. Then it feels like something you can get better at.

Thanks for the great posts.

[Jennifer Jeffrey]

Miche - it IS hard not to feel like it's a competition! Doing your best is all you can do... and I agree, I'd rather be living now than any other time. Thanks so much for stopping by.

Michael - you said it - "a happy medium" - I think that's what we're all trying to find. I fail all the time too, and like you, I don't even have kids... so I feel truly sympathetic towards the people who are trying to juggle everything. Group hug!

[kim Prause]

Thanks, Jennifer, for the post and the thoughts. I think a lot of what keeps women from attaining their goals of equality is this unfair amount of pressure we put on ourselves in the form of insecurities.

Instead of feeling pressured to make our own bio-diesel and mill our own flour, what if we just decided that, whatever we can get locally, we should? I think even this small mindshift would make a big difference in the landscape of our supermarkets.

Thanks for the site!

[Gina]

I'm a bit late here, but YES! I really agree with many of your musings. I love the paragraph about "it's not a competition"... I need to remind myself those same things. I just can't find time to plan, prepare, photograph and document elaborate meals right now, and I do feel insecure or annoyed when reading so many others who DO. Maybe someday, but right now I'm busy being the main breadwinner AND housekeeper in my family; I buy local when I can, but I don't have time to document it weekly.

[Katherine Gray]

I've been ruminating on this post since it first appeared here and it's probably time I wrote something on the subject on my own blog. I used to work insane hours, then I had a second child and I just couldn't do it anymore. I started working at home and had a little more time for cooking, though I really can't start it until my husband gets home so it's not that different from before. Something I've struggled with is not exactly how much is local--that part hasn't been so hard for me how many sources we have in PDX--but how "gourmet" my cooking is. I always feel like it's too peasant to write about. But what if the secret to eating sustainably is you just cook the food simply? Chop the veggies, saute in olive oil and a little salt, maybe fresh rosemary (which you can't kill) and some fried chicken thighs? That's what we had for dinner tonight (with some BBQ sauce made by a local, independent grocer). I wonder sometimes if it's not that it's hard to buy local but it's hard to get back to the basics, if our expectations are too high.